Peach

— You know nothing about music! – Nick is categorical.

— I don’t, for various reasons, I missed quite some period of my childhood… When I was a teenager, that period… We had not much music…

— I know, Daddy, – Nick is interrupting Zack, – You’ve tried to find excuse before too, but it’s just you don’t pay attention…

— Maybe… – Zack is nodding unwillingly.

They are on the coach on the veranda.

— It inspires me most though, I know, – Zack mumbles, – And it’s a shame I never have proper playlists, or remember any song names or singers…

— Time for me to sleep… – that’s Nick looking at Dad as if testing.

— What happened? – Zack is surprised.

— Your thoughts…

— I forgot that you get all of my weird thoughts… Sorry…

— It’s ok, Daddy… I’m fine with you comparing a peach with an ass and it being the most sexual association for you… – Nick smiles awkwardly.

— You are too young for all those thoughts and impressions!.. Time to sleep indeed. And it’s just…

— Daddy, you should not feel guilty for those thoughts. And it’s OK to be gay and all that…

Zack is red – all red – like a peach.

— What a coming out, – he mumbles.

— Hahaha – Nick is enjoying the moment, – And by the way, Daddy, the peach is actually a symbol of long life and health and the connection of sensual, spiritual…

— Nick, stop it!..

— No, Daddy! Let’s talk about it and move on…

Zack looks at Nick with guilty eyes. It’s impossible to hide thoughts.

— You were two or three maybe, that’s your first association with… With peach… You and your cousin playing with each other’s asses. First he lying down and you kissing and smelling his ass, and then he doing the same. You both were getting a sexual pleasure that is natural at that age. What is not typical though is… It is that most kids don’t have memories of the period, – those initial sexual pleasures are erased, as if they never existed… Most people when they again enter that sexual puberty, they never remember those initial experiences. In fact very few people remembering anything from those early ages… How old were you, really?

— Three or four, maximum five…

Zack looks at Nick. In front of him stands a young man in his mid twenties, no longer a kid. When did he grow up?..

— So, there, the first peach, the boy’s ass, for you… Then you lived some twenty more years after that, and then you remembered those feelings… You became gay…

— Nick, a lot of people will find it inappropriate to have such dialogues… You are a kid, and you are discussing the moments in my life that I am not sure myself how to interpret…

— Daddy, you know it’s OK with me, you know I am different… 

— I know, but…

— Let me finish, please, and then I’ll go to bed I promise!..

Zack is silent.

— So then 25 or so, well maybe a bit earlier, you started to admit the feelings you had towards boys; and that’s when, in the meantime, you had some great heterosexual experiences as well…

— Yes, I am bi, I guess..

— Those labels are stupid, we both know…

— Yeah…

— You’re almost forty, Daddy, and when you look into the mirror your skin on the body is not how you remember it… You are ashamed of your body, yourself, all of a sudden…

— Yes…

— And that’s despite the fact that you look at least five years younger…

— Yes…

— And you are nervous despite the fact that at least two boys in their early twenties would love to be called your boyfriend.. You refused to both!..

— Yes.

— And you had sex with over fifty, maybe up to hundred people, boys, girls… Some really good, some ugly, some you remember, some you forgot…

— Yes…

— And the peach is still an ass… And you are full of energy and desire and…

— Nick! Enough…

— Wait!.. All I wanted to do, to say aloud, put on paper, be open about the facts… I have not added anything and I am not judging you… All those relationships, all the desire, all the drive, it’s all part of you, – and I love you, Daddy, and for me you are still my Daddy, regardless of any thoughts you may feel ashamed of…

— Nick…

— Yes…

— Thank you…

— You are welcome!… You are welcome to be free to think and do things that make you feel good. You need to set yourself free… At least now, you can afford it, it’s time, it’s for the reason! All was leading to this, – to set you free…

— I don’t know… But, thank you, Nick…

— Now, I’ll go to bed… Good night, Daddy!

— Good night, Nick! – Zack pulls Nick and hugs him hard, then kisses on the forehead, before letting go.

Nick is going inside the room. 

Outside is the night. It’s chilly. Zack is out.

— Literally and figuratively… – he sighs and smiles.